That’s it. I’m just tired. Being a human is exhausting. Getting out of bed every day and doing my best sometimes feels like such a monumental ordeal that I tear up at the thought.
The alternative is just as bad. Laying down, accepting my fate, letting sickness overtake me until there is nothing left… it would destroy not just me but everyone who loves me.
I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place: worn down by the constant effort that living life takes yet terrified of stumbling and being steam-rolled by it all.
I’m lost in a desert, wandering and delirious, every step dragging more than the last but knowing that if I lay down I will most likely never get up.
I don’t know what I’m trying to say, I don’t know what my positive message of the day is. Don’t give up, maybe? That’s what I’ve been going with, and I’m still alive- for better or for worse.
I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying.
Courage, dear heart.